November 19th 2011

Any day after yesterday should be considered a gift. She was given three days, todays the forth. I laughed today, I cried more though. She hasn’t spoke a clear word in days, she hasn’t smiled either.

She’s still beautiful.

November 20th 2011

I woke up today, the first day of the rest of my life without my mother. At 3:45am this morning she passed in her sleep. My dad came and woke me up, it was the moment I had been trying to prepare myself for. But I wasn’t prepared. By 4am the family was arriving, it was far too hard to escape.

In all honesty, I didn’t want them here. I wanted to be alone. Just me, my dad, my brother, my boyfriend and my grandparents. But thats not how it works. They’ll be here for a while, I suppose they have every right to be. 

I would just rather be alone though.