I’m scared. Scared to be alone, that’s all. Now with mum being sick and all – it’s just another reason to be scared. I never had much; mum and dad were my all. There is too much power out of my hands now though. Too much power in God’s hands to take mum too soon, too much power in your hands to break my heart.

You know the domino effect? Its coming I can tell. It doesn’t come one thing at a time; it doesn’t even come in three’s. It all comes crashing down in this domino effect. One will leave, then the next. Next thing I know mum’s gone. Dad will start working more, maybe choosing to work away from home. My brother might be there physically, but mentally? He can’t help me there. The rest of my family? They don’t give a shit. Then I only have your friends, that’s all now. Not my own, they all have lives of there own that’s taken them somewhere else amazing. And what happens if we fuck it up? Tell me then? I’m alone. That’s what.

You taught me with this regularly, without even knowing it.

I’m scared, that’s all.